I started to draft this blog about my 20′s awhile back. I wanted to add more to it, but I think I will just write multiple blogs. I seem to start a lot of blogs and not finish them. Sometimes I combined them into one. I think I have like 10 drafts at the moment. Some I may never publish…
I’ve been thinking a lot about life lately. Thinking about the past years of my life, taking inventories and contemplating a lot of different things. With all of these thoughts flowing around in my head, I started to think about all the things I’ve learned while on this wild ride of my 20′s. I think it’s safe to say that this decade has included some of the most defining years of my life. Here are some things I’ve learned some big and some small.
• Never let anyone else make you feel bad about your choices.
I’ve made choices that don’t always follow the normal grain of what “everyone else was doing.” I’ve done all sorts of things that people haven’t understood & may never understand. I will never be a “normal” person who always does the easy thing, who takes the safe or quiet road. I have made bad choices but have learned from them. If it wasn’t for the bad choices that I made I wouldn’t be who I am today.
Be Accountable. I used to be such a flaky teenager it was horrible. And I’m probably giving myself too much credit- I was the same way throughout my early 20s as well. The minute I would make plans I would start to feel just a little uncomfortable, and more often than not I would find myself breaking plans and finding something “better” to do, spur of the moment of course. I’m not sure why I hated feeling so tied down back then, because now I love and thrive on planning. I finally learned how rude it is to make or break plans.
Not everyone will like you. Oh, this is such an important lesson learned. And a hard one for me, but I’ve definitely learned it. It’s important to understand that it is absolutely impossible for every single person to like you or enjoy your company. Just like some people rub you the wrong way, it can go the same way for others when they think of you.
Be careful with tattoos NO Symbols of Love or Names: defiantly learned this one the hard way. With 2 tattoos I regret. I love my other 3 and still want more? The next tattoo I get will be to cover up the one on my arm of a chess piece that I regret getting. Ugh I am just unsure of what tho? It is on my arm? I have a few ideas.
My first tattoo was of a silly blue rose? Why you ask? I have no idea. I was 16 and I said I want a tattoo. I don’t care what it is I just want one. I am in a way grateful in a way that I was to busy spending my $ on other crap & that I didn’t end up with a whole body of tattoos I regret. My parents are not too happy about me having so many tattoos, especially the visible ones. I’m sure they think I shouldn’t be spending money on something that they think is unnecessary. But, tattoos make me happy and they are a part of me. Quote from my grandmother: ” Andrea’s tattoos at least are pretty” Quote from my step mom: “Ewww gross why do you do that to your self”? Quote from dad: “How much money did that cost”? Hmmm total spent on body art. $300 total. Not bad really.
Drugs are bad mmmm k: We’ve all seen the egg and frying pan commercials, or the junkies on the streets downtown. We all know what could happen to our health years later, but we light up anyways. A lot of my early 20′s where spent doing drugs and binge drinking. I prided myself in being the party girl. I was proud that I could drink with the boys and not black out. Shot after shot, hit after hit. From about 14-25 I drank & experimented A LOT! I got clean at 25 years old on August 2nd, 2006. I will forever be grateful. Hopefully maybe this will reach someone out there. I lived in a prison that I created myself
I did have a choice. After that, I was in the grip of a disease more powerful than myself. Drugs will presents themselves as your best friend, but quickly becomes evil in your life. Once you’ve been there you almost can’t escape. Everyone I used with had been to jail because of drugs; whether it was possession or something stupid they had done. I flat out told people I didn’t have a problem because I’d never gone to jail. The people I used with didn’t have a place to live, a car, a phone, electricity or heat, and until the end, I had those things!!! I compared myself to others to prove I wasn’t an addict. I was wrong. And as I sat in jail, coming down — I finally admitted I was an addict. My first dose of humility. The way I was living was hopeless; I was barely surviving. I knew that if I didn’t do something, it was going to kill me. I was living in a prison created by myself, for myself.
To Be Continued…
